I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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