why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
