I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
