Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
