so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Shame - the story of my life.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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