In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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