Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
