I cockslap morals
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
