is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
