U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
