Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
