Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
