she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think my moral compass just broke
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