when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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