no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
