No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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