Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
