My friends, they love my intelligence
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
