the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
