you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
