I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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