wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
