I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
