We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
