well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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