I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
