U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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