We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
