Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
