So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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