my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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