Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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