in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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