There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Randomize
