my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
