My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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