I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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