Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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