i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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