She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
