I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
