mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
