i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Boobs speak an international language.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize