Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
