I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
