I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
