idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
