i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
