Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
