When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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