my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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