I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
