I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
